BREL WINS AGAIN AS DIABLO WELCOMES SPECTATORS
Sport
Moustaf Brel, a distant relative of the seminal chansonnier Jacques Brel who wowed the cabaret scene in what was then known as Europe in the mid 20th century, yesterday won, for the 5th year in a row, the world suitgliding championship. Brel circumnavigated the globe three times at a record pace of 22.5 hours per revolution, without touching ground once, buoyed by exceptionally strong winds and his new hyperastral suit, which mimics reactive patterns in bird wings when passing through oncoming air currents.
The competition, organised by the Tasmania-based ‘Four Continent League of Suitgliders’, draws millions of spectators, virtual and otherwise, many to the launch point at the Softbank Gondola at the crater of Mt. Diablo, formerly known as Aetna. Others congregate at various ‘swoop points’ and sites of major convection currents worldwide.
This year’s launch marked a poignant political moment, as The Diablo Republic welcomed international visitors for the first time. The country opened its borders for the first time since it was founded in 2070 when Mt. Diablo erupted without any lava flow, severing what was then Southern Italy from its Northern counterpart. The geological departure ran almost exactly along regional lines, granting Southern Italy de facto independence from the North - something that southerners had craved for decades since the former Secretary of State gambled Malta in a game of poker in a basement in Tripoli and lost. Old and New European leaders looked on with trepidation as Mt. Diablo was announced as the launch point for the suitgliding championship. They will have noticed with relief that the event took place without a hitch.
Back to the racing now, the aerialsuits worn by the suitgliders have no limit in distance due to their aerodynamic design and the dehydration protocol followed by all competitors through a combination of an expertly calibrated diet based on minimum calories and maximum kilojoules and a series of dehydration sessions in what is called the Thermometer Chamber.
Participants guide the astral suit, which resembles a giant spider, a structure proved in the late 21st century to be the optimum format for gliding on thin air, through telepathic commands through the suit’s head. No nutrition is needed during the flights due to the dehydration regime. Participant bone density and normal weight are resuscitated by immersion in nutrient filled pools within a day of landing at the final destination.
Moustaf flew his astral suit, adorned with the colours of his native North African High Terrain Region, to a victorious landing at the base of Mt. Diablo where he was awarded the Astral Emerald once again.
“I was thinking that the advancements in dehydration would give me an advantage as I am normally very short’, “ Moustaf commented, “but conversely it was pretty tough because I was down to less than 1 pound as a result whereas I am usually at a 3 pound flying weight…. I was thinking of my rehydration and next meal constantly during the last two revolutions.“
Brel took the northern route on his first cycle passing the Grand Nordic Islands, Iceland and Greenland, and then coasting over the Outer Canadian Region, continuing on to the Russian Farming and Technical Resource Collective and then back into the EMEA Geopolitical Area. His next pass went directly over the equator and he finished with a spin along the notorious Southern route, where extremely powerful yet inconsistent convection currents caused by rapidly melting and refreezing ice become a make or break opportunity for would-be record breakers. Brel navigated the upward air spirals with characteristic verve and smashed his own record by 43 seconds.
Brel said he was thinking of finally hanging up his suit as he accepted his prize from Paris Area Director Claude Monet. “Life in the fast stream is great, “ he said, “but maybe it’s time to slow down and get back to my farm.” He added, “I am also thinking of writing some music… who knows – it may run in the family. When you are up there, the mind sings.”
